My Journey
by Corinth Mugwort
Summary: "I promised myself that I'd become a SOLDIER. It's time to fulfill that wish." A story about a blond cadet trying to get everything he ever wanted, and a general who wants something more out of life. Seph/Cloud
1. My Keepsake

"Mum, look at that! The General's on TV again!"

Lorraine Strife had to stifle a chuckle as she watched her son, who had been glued to the television since three 'O' clock that afternoon, jabbing his finger at the screen. It was adorable really. The SOLDIER army were doing their tours over the world the very next day to pick up new recruits for their ranks and, because of that, they had been showing related broadcasts on the Shinra Information Network channel almost solidly for the past few days. However, she'd been having constant reports about it for far longer: Cloud had never stopped talking about how the SOLDIERs were going to be coming for a few months now and, as they got this tantalisingly close all he could do was stare with eyes as wide as saucers at the processions that were being shown live on air.

"Wow, look, everybody's saluting him... he's about to make a speech and everything!"

Ever since he had been young, her son had been in complete and utter awe of the General of SOLDIER, Sephiroth. Of course he was not alone in that, it was actually quite common among the youth of Gaia these days, but it seemed to grip him with more ferocity than it did any of the other children. In fact, he was the only teenager in Nibelheim who was serious enough about his ambition to actually try out for the army, the other boys all concerning themselves with city jobs and apprenticeships as they reached maturity. The girls seemed content to stay in the village for the most part, as it was a much more comfortable place to stay than any of the big cities.

"Did you hear what he just said? It's just twelve hours away, they're coming tomorrow morning!"

"I know sweetie, I know," she replied softly, chuckling once more when her boy almost squealed with excitement. The inevitability of her son's absence had been dawning on her for a while. It hurt, of course, but if he was going to be given the opportunity he'd always wanted, the opportunity to achieve his dreams, she wasn't about to stand in his way. Mothers were tough. She could cope. Lorraine prided herself on being a tough woman, more than tough enough to raise her boy in an environment that was harsh both geographically and socially. That was just another reason to wish for her son to leave. The other children had never been kind to him and if he went to the city that might actually be a chance for him to experience real friendship, the kind that she couldn't give him no matter how much she showered him with motherly love. It wasn't the same as having somebody his own age to talk to, that much she knew. Even though there was a young girl in the village who had recently shown interest, which was something that Cloud had jumped at sheerly for the chance to talk to another teenager, she was suspicious. The girl was the daughter of their next door neighbour, the mayor, and a very popular young woman among the boys of the village. No interest had ever been expressed from her until Cloud had made up his mind and decided to leave for the big city to train in the army.

That sort of thing was very suspicious.

"Are you all packed, Cloud?"

"Ah, almost. I'll finish that now, before dinner. The show's over."

With an acknowledging nod Lorraine watched her boy get up off the living room carpet, have a good stretch and whisk himself away upstairs.

"I should really start on that dinner... something big, to make sure that he has enough energy tomorrow." It would be a long day for her son. A good hearty meal in the morning would do wonders for him, perhaps even give him the head start that he needed. The events of the next day could be vital.

* * *

><p><em>December 12<em>_th__, __εуλ 0000_

_My Bedroom_

_Packing a bag is always hard. It's even harder now that I'm leaving the only home that I've ever known. I've never even left this village before, let alone visited the big city... am I even cut out for this?_

_What do I even take? My toothbrush, my clothes, my diary, they're all easy enough to decide on, but what keepsakes do I bring along? I wanna remember my mother, but all I have is a photo of her in the back of this book I'm writing in. It'll have to do. The home number's scrawled on the back, I made sure of that, so once I make it to the barracks there must be some payphone there that I can use to call home._

_Home..._

_Is it weird that I miss it, even though I haven't actually left yet? I want to go to Midgar, of course I do, but I'll be leaving Mum all alone. But, she's just accepted it. If I back out now, that'll just be selfish. It's just nerves._

_Yeah. It'll pass. I've wanted this for too long to back down now. I have to meet him at least once._

* * *

><p><em>I had space for one more thing. I picked this wooden chocobo figurine that's been on my bedside table for as long as I can remember. I recall looking at that little statue when I was little as Mum stroked my hair, sending me off to sleep. It was the last thing I'd see each night. Mum always told me that Dad made it for me when she was pregnant, he was carving it with a knife by the fireplace while he waited for me to give my first kick. There's no way I can leave that behind... I can't believe I forgot.<em>

* * *

><p>"Thank you, Mum. That was lovely." They had had a roast for dinner, a celebration for Cloud and the fact that tomorrow he would finally be on the path to achieving his dreams. "I think you may have made a little too much though," he added with a chuckle before taking a sip from his water glass. Having an abundance of food on the table was quite a common occurrence. His mother always managed to get really good deals on food at the market with her supreme haggling skills. Because of that there was always a lot of food in the fridge that needed to be cooked before it spoiled. They had probably forgotten any concept of portion control long ago. There was no chance of meals in the army being so generous.<p>

"I suppose you're right. Perhaps I'll have to invest in a bigger freezer once you've gone, hm?"

"Probably. You won't have your human vacuum around to suck up all the food after tomorrow." The thought was a melancholy one, although the blond tried not to show his burgeoning worries about what was to come, instead smiling at his mother before rising from his seat to clear the plates away. Once he had stacked them away on the side Cloud turned to his mother, watching her with slightly unsure eyes. What did he do now? This was going to be the last meal they ate together, for he would be up far too early in the morning tomorrow to sit and eat with her. The truck arrived at dawn and he needed to be sure not to miss it, because it would be touring the rest of the continent before driving back down to Midgar for the evening. A small tupperware container of blueberry pancakes had been lovingly prepared for him that morning so that he would have a meal on the journey.

_What am I supposed to say?_

"I'll see you in the morning, Cloud." The decision had been made for him. It seemed that his mother was content to just treat things like normal. Was it easier that way? Perhaps, although it might hurt more come tomorrow. A gentle kiss was planted on his forehead, although the young man hadn't even realised his mum get up from her seat, so he was somewhat surprised. "You take care now, alright? Get plenty of sleep and be sure to take your travel sickness pills with you."

"Yes, Mum. Thank you. I'll see you in the morning." The words sounded slightly hollow without him even meaning for them to. There was a way for him to make up for that, even if it meant bringing down his boundaries for a second or two. That would be something he couldn't do once he made it into the military. Without saying another word, Cloud gave his mother a quick hug around the middle. "I love you," he murmured, "Goodnight." After that he shot up the stairs towards his bedroom. If he didn't go to bed now he would be up all night thinking, anticipating, worrying. There was no way he was going to let his own head sabotage his chances tomorrow.

* * *

><p><strong>So this is just a little thing that I'm going to be working on on and off for a while. I'm not going to set myself a schedule for updates because that way I'll just burn myself out like with my last story, and I have college to think about now as well. Still, I hope this is okay. I just had this urge to write tonight.<strong>


	2. My Troubled Sleep

Strangely enough, the next morning Cloud was not woken by his alarm. No, there was no noise at all in his dusky bedroom except for the tiniest trickle of moonlight glancing in through the curtains, which were slightly too small to fit his window.

"_What time is it?"_ he wondered to himself, one eyelid cracking open while a shaky, uncoordinated hand reached out for his alarm clock. A soft curse reverberated around the room when an empty glass was knocked onto the floor, bouncing off the bed frame as it went. A peek over the edge of his bed was enough to assess the damages, of which there were none, and after that the blond was able to get back to the task at hand and check the alarm clock.

4:00 A.M.

That was a whole two hours before he needed to be up. What was he to do until then? Now that he was sure that there was so little time to wait until he would be getting up, heading out to the entrance of the village and hopping into that truck it was impossible to even think of sleep! The very thought of waiting so long caused Cloud to huff, toss and turn in his bed, his blankets twisting around him the more he moved about. The sheer amount of nervous, tense energy he had now was so frustrating.

**Thud. **"Argh!"

Cloud's movements had managed to become a bit more violent than even he had anticipated. Upturned on the floor, the blond cringed, listening out for any footsteps on the landing. The last thing he wanted to do tonight was to wake his mother or cause her any disturbances. Even if she wasn't going to be travelling across the continent like he was, the young man knew that she would be having a taxing day tomorrow as well. Besides, he had never enjoyed causing her any inconvenience, no matter how small or imagined it might be. Luckily, after a minute or so of keeping a careful ear out for any noise outside of his bedroom, it seemed to him that the coast really was clear. With that he let out a sigh of relief.

What to do now?

Restless eyes roamed his bedroom, looking for something, anything that might sate his boredom, but at first glance there seemed to be no respite. The packing was finished, there was little point in getting dressed a whole two hours before he was supposed to, and his room was almost spotless after he had packed away the few belongings that he owned. All of his thoughts were focused almost entirely on the life changing event that was to come in the near future, his chance to join the army, which meant that he couldn't really lose himself in thoughts that would provide a distraction.

"Ugh, this really is hopeless!" Cloud uttered to himself, picking himself up off the floor and slumping on the deep sill beside his bedroom window. With a careful hand he pushed the curtain to one side, listening to the smooth clinking as the hooks slid across the metal bar that held the cover there. The almost complete darkness around the town told him that it really was asleep, as even the small village pub's lights had gone out a few hours previous. They never stayed open past two so he couldn't even watch the last few dregs stumble out to go and empty their dinners into the town well. "Once I get to the big city, even at this time in the morning there'll be things to do, things to see..."

He had trailed off because even though the village didn't have much in the way of great buildings and night life, the wildlife could still catch his attention in a second with its natural beauty. In the sky a half moon was glowing, bathing the village in a sleepy, dusky light. Because he was lucky to live in one of the few areas where pollution wasn't such a big problem the glow was clearer than it would be in a lot of other towns, and as he stared out at the moon a dragon flew over one of the mountain peaks, past the orb of light, then back down into the crevices. That wasn't something he'd see too often in Midgar.

Suddenly he was stricken with a second wind of all the doubts he had pondered on over the last few weeks since he had learned that he was off to join the army. Was he cut out to leave home? After all, he was just some naïve kid who'd grown up in a backwater town. Most of the Shinra recruits came from Midgar, Junon, areas like that where people were more streetwise and had at least some knowledge of what they were getting themselves mixed up in. Cloud, however? All he'd ever done was watch the parades on T.V., listen to Sephiroth's speeches about the current Wutaian war... none of these things were actual _experience._ Where he lived there was just no way to get it. Even as he thought about the army he wasn't even mentioning to himself the rather obvious fact that he came from a place quite a bit further away than most recruits, they may share no customs, they certainly didn't share accents either. Even though he was used to being bullied the army was supposed to be his chance to get away from all of that. What if nothing changed at all?

No. No, he couldn't think like this. All of these doubts weren't going to keep the spiky haired blond from achieving his dreams. It would all be worth it when he became a SOLDIER First Class... hell, if he even got to meet Sephiroth, or see him with his own eyes, even from a distance, it would all be worth it. _His hero..._ With those thoughts in mind he lifted himself from the windowsill, pulled the curtain back over so that it obscured the moon's glow, then flopped back down on his bed. Even if he couldn't sleep, he could at least make a show of pretending.

* * *

><p>The morning air was cold and harsh, wind blowing the blond's hair into utter disarray. It never took much to get it into that state, but today was really taking the cake. Even though the air had been entirely still the night before, blustery gales were hitting the village and because Cloud had travelled to the mouth of the mountains to get picked up he no longer had the cover that the tall earth surrounding the village would provide. It was about seven in the morning, and here he was standing out in the cold alone. Earlier on he and his mother had had a fairly awkward goodbye. She had been emotional, he had been emotional, but because they didn't want to make it any more difficult than it was they had both agreed to make the whole affair as low key as possible. Getting worked up about something like that in public was embarrassing, anyway. It was nothing he couldn't deal with himself, alone.<p>

A noise distracted the blond from his impending angst. What was that, the sputter of an engine in the distance? It certainly seemed like it! Immediately his spirits lifted, and his bag soon followed as he lifted the trunk up with both hands. As the noise became louder and louder it was confirmed that his ears had not deceived him, it really was the truck, they barely ever had any other visitations from vehicles so there wasn't much chance of it being just another passer by. This was it, his big chance, his ticket out of the sticks and into the big leagues...

"Ey, kid. You the one we supposed to be picking up?" The voice shocked Cloud, the young man barrelling backwards a few steps before looking for the source of the voice. A gruff looking man with cropped black hair was looking back at him, scratching the bristly stubble that covered his chin. Despite the crop it was obvious that his hairline was receding, the top thinning, which was just another thing that gave away the man's age. Definitely in his late forties, the blond decided, nodding to himself briefly before realising that there was an answer expected from him.

"Oh..." How had he managed to be so caught up in his own head that he'd completely missed a truck driving up to him? Wow, this was a great start. Still, the old guy driving didn't seem to mind too much. "Yeah, yeah I am. Sorry... I just need to hop in the back, right?" he asked, wanting to be absolutely sure of what he was supposed to be doing. This was the start of his experience, and even if this was just some truck driving grunt he didn't want to get off to a bad start with anybody involved with Shinra, this trip or anything like that.

"Mm. This is as far out as we're goin', but I gotta pick the rest up on the way back." Due to the fact that some drivers decided to quit after they got a certain way across the continent thanks to the long drive, along with the fact that it was usually getting into the afternoon by the time they even made it to the west if they were picking people up left and right, Shinra had decided to change the system and have the people furthest away be picked up first. Cloud had received a letter about it during one of the previous weeks as an explanation of why he was going to need to get up so early, as opposed to heading down to the edge of town at midday. At least they had thought to give him a reason.

After giving a single nod to the driver, along with a murmur of thanks, the blond hauled his trunk around to the back of the truck. For a moment the dull groan of the engine stopped and a metallic slamming sound alerted him to the fact that the driver seemed to be getting out. Hopefully the reason was to help open the hatch because he really wasn't tall enough to do it by himself. His face paled. What if that was another point against him? What if this was some kind of initial test? He couldn't open the door, he got motion sick very easily and he was going to be stuck here for hours... oh, how was he to keep up his strength?

"You okay there, kid? You're lookin' a little pale."

The voice lurched him out of his thoughts once again. The damage was probably already done in Cloud's eyes, he already looked like some oblivious twit who was scared out of his skin and couldn't even open the door of a damned truck._ Oh, Gaia..._

"I'm fine, thanks," the blond replied. There was no reason to go into further detail. Obviously they were both more interested in setting off so without another word he jumped up into the back of the truck, dragging his trunk with him. It took a couple of good tugs to get the - very stuffed - bag up into the interior but with one final lurch it came free, causing Cloud to stagger back slightly. Lucky for him he didn't lose his footing entirely.

With both Cloud and the luggage safely stored in the truck compartment the driver obviously saw no more reason to keep the hatch open and delay their visit, and because of that he soon found himself trapped in near darkness. There were a few small windows on the sides, but they were quite high up and allowed the light to shine down at harsh diagonal angles, allowing the little specks of dust that surrounded him to become visible in their glow. It seemed that, until they picked somebody up, the spiky haired young man's only entertainment was going to be watching said specks while he tried his best to keep the burgeoning sickness at bay.

* * *

><p>Hours had passed. During the journey so far, only a few people had joined Cloud in the truck despite the amount of time that had inched by. The swirling sickness rising in his throat had caused him to skip his lunch, despite the fact that the blueberry pancakes that his mother had made for him would most likely be lukewarm, dry and stale by the time they finally reached their destination. There would be no rest stops. In a strange way, perhaps the denial of food was a blessing? It meant that he had no reason to crack out the food and risk the bigger, buffer looking kids around his age that had joined him in the truck making fun of him for having a lunch packed by <em>mummy<em> at home. Neither outcome helped his wrenching stomach.

Speaking of his travelling companions, they were an assorted bunch despite the thicker, toned stature that they shared, obviously somewhat hardened by training rather than coming to Midgar as some soft, squishy hopeful. They had a range of hair colours, red, brown, black, but no blonde. Apparently they could be quite a rare thing the closer they got to the east, natural blondes anyway. The snowier, mountainous areas tended to lend better to that hair colour and even then he'd not seen that many in Nibelheim during his life there, mainly him, his mother and perhaps one other family on the other side of the village.

There was no question that everybody was taller than him, although there was a difference between one or two that were only a few inches higher and then another who towered over him like a giant. The blond couldn't help but wonder which would be more common, and for his sake he hoped that it was the former so that he had at least slightly less of a chance to look like a complete runt.

"_How could I ever look like anything but a runt compared to these guys?" _he thought to himself, his mouth twitching slightly as his face took on a more forlorn expression, _"I knew how to handle myself in Nibelheim, but here... am I out of my depth?"_

Ever present nerves were eating away at him again, not helping his swimming, churning stomach and addled mind. The dizziness from the movement, the constant worry of sickness, both were being exacerbated by the fact that these three guys seemed to be in a whole other league to him. The blond was sabotaging himself, building everybody around him up to vastly superior status' just to bring himself down, and it sure was working. This was something that happened all the time for him. Back in the village it had taken him the better part of a year to start standing up to his bullies, to retort to the name calling and violence with a little of his own, and that was only after a stern pep talk from his mother. Oh, how he wished she were here now to impart some wisdom that might help him in the coming hours... but no such thing was to occur.

Instead, Cloud huddled up on the clanking wooden bench and swivelled to face away from the others. It was anti-social and he most likely would not make any friends by doing so, but when he was feeling terrible he felt he deserved a pass. How would he even go about talking to them anyway? It wasn't as if he was the type to have had friends, so the process of making any seemed a mystery to him. Part of him felt that he would be safer, better off if he treated everybody as a hostile until they had proven themselves otherwise. With that thought he gave a slight nod in answer to his own thoughts, all that he could muster in his condition, and closed his eyes to help ward away pain and sickness for the rest of the journey.

* * *

><p><strong>Second chapter, whoo. I've been working on this for a few days on and off between festivities and such. I was kind of barrelling through because I wanna get towards the more interesting stuff which is why chapters still aren't all that long (plus I have a whole load of college work that I've been neglecting to write instead). I'm hoping they're okay though! Thank you to everybody who added this story to their alerts and faves, I was quite surprised by all the attention it recieved. :)<strong>


	3. My Arrival

A perky, black haired man entered the SOLDIER director's office where a small gathering was forming. The building was abuzz with chatter today. The first batch of new cadets would be arriving today. It was a night off for most people involved, except for a few speeches and the responsibilities of showing the new recruits around, but that was hardly considered work. He, Zack Fair, was pretty excited about it, especially since he had just recently made it to First Class and was exempt from having to ferry the little ones around.

"Hey, Seph. You've prepared that speech of yours, right?" The young man watched the General, who he very tentatively considered something close to a friend, with his bright, sky blue eyes as he waited for an answer. Of course he would be prepared, it wasn't like Sephiroth to be anything but. The powerful SOLDIER always seemed to know exactly what he was doing, a strong leader to cling to in times of strife, so there was no chance that he would be letting everybody down.

"Of course. In fact, Lazard quite graciously prepared it for me." While Sephiroth did have a silver tongue to match his hair, it was very much like the Shinra Corporation to make sure that he didn't say anything... _unflattering._ It wasn't a likely worry, but tales of the recent war might cause some of the young men who had gathered today to doubt their commitment to their decision, and runaways were an unfortunate menace that must be dealt with.

"Cool, just figured I'd check you were at the top of your game. Aw man, I can't believe this! I get to meet 'em all out there, see their little nervous faces... ah, reminds me of when I first got here." After letting out a short, barking laugh, Zack continued, "But I bet none of 'em will be as plucky as me, huh? Maybe I'll be cool, take one under my wing... depends on whether any look too lost, huh?"

When he turned to look at Sephiroth, the older man gave an ever so slightly derisive snort.

"I worry for their sake, Zack."

"Hey man, why have you gotta say something like that? You wound me!" All it took to quieten Zack down were those six words, easily enough to make him slump down like a scolded puppy.

* * *

><p>"...ake u... id..."<p>

The words pierced through Cloud's slumber, and even though he wasn't awake his brow furrowed in confusion. Despite the fact that he was asleep he parroted the sounds that he had heard, his mouth slightly open so that he was able to take in enough air to stave off motion sickness.

"wake u... ki..."

A grumble was the response given to whoever was trying to bother him. He had said that twice now and he still didn't understand what he was saying! It was irritating enough to cause his face to twitch, his body and mind waking despite how little he wanted them to.

"What?" he mumbled, his voice slurred, a hint of annoyance hidden in there somewhere.

"Wake up, kid! Jeez, I said it enough times already, don't cha think?"

With that final remark Cloud's eyes slowly cracked open, squinting around at his surroundings that, despite being more open thanks to the fact that the truck door was ajar, were still just as dark as they had been before he had drifted off. They must have been in the truck for a long time. Had they been delayed?

"Where are we?" he asked, looking up at the driver carefully. The other boys that he had shared part of the journey with were nowhere to be seen in the immediate vicinity so he couldn't help but feel nervous. Was there perhaps an attack, and rather than fighting valiantly along the other hopefuls he had simply slept through like a contented child? Maybe that was even a test that they sprung on people before they came to join the military, a means to separate the wheat from the chaff...

"Midgar, kid. That's kinda the point of the drive, see."

Midgar? They had made it? That explained the darkness surrounding him, causing the sky outside of every window to be completely dark even though it was only mid afternoon in Winter. Despite being on the upper plate, the air above was polluted through various means, causing a cloud of darkness that rose almost as high as the Shinra Building itself. Because they were in a hold used for cargo trucks and military transport they were well shielded from the lights of the surrounding city by the thick walls. In fact, the part of the car park that they were in was 'underground' in the fact that it was on a floor below the main building concealed by the dense, sturdy plate that everything on this side of Midgar was built upon.

"C'mon," the driver grunted, waving him over with a hand so that he could get all of this over and done with, get away from these lousy, starstruck kids, "You got a guy outside with the others, he's here to get you lot outta my hair." An interesting analogy to use when this man was rapidly running out of it.

Cloud followed the curmudgeonly old man in almost giddy fashion, so overcome with emotion now that he had finally made it to the city. This was everything that he had dreamed of for so, so long, and now it was finally happening for him! Any trace of the nerves that he had felt previously were dashed away by high spirits, the thought that any moment now he could go into the building and see a SOLDIER, perhaps even a high ranking one. Surely they had prepared somebody to come and talk to the new recruits, despite the war that was coming to a close in Wutai? Now that things were settling over there it wouldn't be too much of a disturbance.

Soon enough he was led to a group of other hopefuls, some of which he recognised from his truck ride – and others that must have arrived when he was asleep – along with another group that must have arrived in a different truck at around the same time as they had. From what the blond assumed there must have been several out at the same time, if not more, and he knew that there were other collection trips that were expected to happen within the next few weeks too.

At the head of the group was a helmeted SOLDIER, standing tall with his arms crossed. Cloud had never seen a real, true SOLDIER in person before, only on the television, so he was somewhat in awe as he mingled at the back of the forming crowd. If he had the uniforms right, which he was pretty sure he did after spending so much time examining newspaper articles, news reports and public television appearances, this was a Second Class. The blond could tell because of the sleeveless purple turtle neck sweater and baggy trousers that he was wearing, along with the fact that he had that sturdy silver helmet on. The blade at his hip was a Shinra standard issue longsword with a rounded hilt, strong but plain. From what he could tell from seeing footage of the army only the best of the best were allowed some deviation in the weapons they were allowed to carry, along with any modifications they might want to make to their uniform. Sometimes they were lenient with the helmets.

"All right everybody, gather round. The name's Kunsel, and it's my job to bring you up to the SOLDIER floor for Orientation. After that we'll be letting you guys get acquainted with the place. If you've got any questions hold onto them for now, 'cause they'll either be answered at Orientation or there'll be plenty of guides there who can answer your questions. Now, since there's a lot of you, I'm gonna take you guys around to the cargo elevator so that you can all head up to the right floor at the same time."

With that everybody followed Kunsel, the murmur of the crowd as they talked to each other quite soft. It seemed like all of the others had managed to get acquainted in the truck ride there. Cloud couldn't help but wonder if he'd messed things up for himself already, as far as socialising went anyway. Sure, not everybody was talking, but quite a few seemed to have little groups going on where they were discussing what might happen next. Hopefully the cliques that could possibly be forming at that very moment weren't too exclusive yet, because he so desperately wanted to try and talk to all of these people who shared such similar dreams with him. It was just hard to do so right now when he was so full to the brim with excitement, worry, apprehension, all sorts of emotions that were fighting for dominance. Later, however, he would try his best.

* * *

><p>Once they were all gathered into the conference room on the 49th floor the buzz of conversation was only louder, more distracting. The tension in the room was high, everybody filled with the same nervous excitement that Cloud was feeling at that moment. Their emotions were all feeding off each other, growing and growing to the point that staying in this room was quite unsettling for the solitary blond. Crowds this big weren't something he was at all used to. It probably wouldn't even be exaggerating to say that there were almost the same amount of people crammed into this one room than there were in the entirety of his sleepy little home town. That was a scary thought.<p>

Amongst the crowd there were a couple of dozen SOLDIERs stationed, and as the bright lights in the room slowly dimmed they tried to get things in order. People were moved out of their small friendship clumps and the conversation was hushed to a quiet standstill. Obviously something was going to happen up on the platform that had been set up at the head of the room so it took less than a minute to get everybody to take notice and fall silent.

First to walk up onto the stage was the director of SOLDIER, Lazard Deusericus. Even though he wasn't a public figure who often received the limelight in any of the Shinra propaganda material, everybody in the room still knew him. It was practically a requirement if one was serious about joining up with SOLDIER, because even though he avoided the front lines he still masterminded a lot of their war plans and was in charge of every SOLDIER's assignments. A cascade of brief whispers made their way across the room before everybody was silenced once more.

"Good evening, everyone. I would like to be the first to welcome you all to Midgar. Unless," he added with a chuckle, "you're already a resident of this fine city, in which case I would still like to welcome you to the building, at least." There were a few little titters in the audience after Lazard's attempt at a joke, but for the most part people stayed quiet.

"Well, good. Anyway, back to matters at hand..."

* * *

><p>The director talked for a good forty minutes or so, although to be fair to him that did include answers to questions that some of the boys saw fit to ask him, but eventually he was finished. Some parts had been interesting, some less so, but now they at least knew what they were doing once they got out of this Orientation gathering.<p>

"Now that I've finished, I suppose I should introduce you all to the main event before you're all sent to unpack and have your dinner. So, without further ado, here is the General himself." The room burst into applause and excited whispers, everybody eyeing the stage, wondering who would be the first to catch a glimpse of their collective idol. There seemed to be a dark haired man standing between the platform and the door, but no Sephiroth just yet.

Once everything went silent, once again prompted by the Second Class SOLDIERs positioned around the room, they heard the click of the door opening.

There he was. The man that Cloud had so desperately wanted to see in the flesh.

Because he was quite small, blocked in by the crowd of bigger boys around him, at first all the blond caught was a swish of long, straight, silver hair that hit the light. That was enough to get his heart beating with excitement, exhilaration, almost hysteria even.

"Good evening, everyone." The purr of the general's voice could have caused Cloud to melt entirely. The sound of his slightly crackly television back at home had done him no justice, never before had he heard a sound that made his whole body feel like it was being set alight. Sephiroth's voice was like, well... the only explanation that came to the blond's thoroughly rocked mind was 'melted chocolate'. Before this point he'd just idolised the general from a purely heroic standpoint, or at least that's what he thought, but now... needless to say he had no idea what his feelings were trying to do to him.

The object of his newly blossoming affections had taken the stage, and he just couldn't keep his big baby blue eyes off him. The crowd was no longer blocking his view, for the few minutes that this speech would take he could simply gaze upon this angelic sight with utter adoration, utter worship. Perhaps the blond was laying it on a bit thick, but he was so starstruck that he'd not even realised it just yet. No doubt he would be cursing himself later.

"On behalf of the entirety of SOLDIER, and indeed the rest of Shinra's army, I welcome each and every one of your personally to our ranks." More of that wonderful, melty voice. Cloud really could die happy right now, lightning could strike him and he would drop to the floor with the biggest smile on his face. Right now, this was enough for him. In fact, he had to suppress a little gasp when the general continued, "The road ahead may be hard, but I am confident that each of you fine young men will serve this company most admirably."

As much as he tried to listen with earnest, the blond began to focus more on looking at Sephiroth instead of deciphering the words that left his mouth. He was still listening to his voice, of course, but less attention was paid to the actual words and more to the tone, that delectable purr, the way he pronounced certain sounds that made him sound so refined and, most of all, the way his lips moved as he formed his words. Luckily all of the others in the room also had their complete attention turned on their general, else they would notice the strange, dreamy expression that had almost entirely taken over Cloud's face.

* * *

><p>"Hey, spike. You all right there? Everybody else is up and about, you're gonna miss your tour." The voice shook Cloud out of his daydream, and it wasn't until then that he realised the little parting speech was over and all of his peers were getting into groups with the Second Class around the room. In front of him was the black haired man who he'd seen hanging around near the platform at the front earlier, before Sephiroth had arrived. He wore the uniform of a First Class SOLDIER, the black sleeveless turtle neck and baggy trousers that denoted his rank.<p>

"I... what? Oh, the tour! I'm sorry, sir, I completely... how should I put this... I kind of zoned out."

The man in front of him let out a barking laugh, grinning wildly at him afterwards. "Wow, you're just full of surprises, aren't you? First you call me sir, which I can safely say I've _never_ heard before, and then you tell me that you actually managed to zonk out during that speech! Ah, tell you what, kid. You come with me, hm? I'll get a little group together and take you guys around, 'cause I'm so generous like that. And on my evening off, too!" Before he could quite register what was going on he felt a strong hand in his hair, ruffling his already nearly unmanageable spikes into utter disarray.

"Am I... not supposed to call you sir?" Cloud couldn't think what he'd call him otherwise, he hadn't given him a name. Besides, this was one of his superiors. Surely it wasn't okay to be so flippant when addressing him.

"Well yeah, you _can _call me sir, in that it's a thing that you can do without the world just ending, but I don't think it suits, you know? It's okay. You can call me Zack."

"Zack... well, okay. If you're sure." Even then the blond sounded hesitant, clearly not quite ready to come to terms with such an idea just yet. It would take him a little bit of time to be truly comfortable with it.

"Good! You're getting there! Now, let's get you all set up, yeah? Everybody's leaving and we've gotta make sure you know where you're sleeping, where you're eating, where you're getting a phone... sorry, you don't have a phone already, right? You don't look like the phone owning type." Already Zack had put a firm hand on his shoulder and was guiding him away, chattering endlessly as he went. It seemed that the man either loved the sound of his own voice or simply had so much going on in his head that it wouldn't all fit in there, and the less important remains of such thoughts instead came tumbling from his mouth.

Without much complaint, Cloud went along with him, nodding along with every little detail about their surroundings or SOLDIER life that he saw fit to bestow on him. He was told about the routines, what would happen if he was late (an area that Zack seemed to be particularly knowledgeable in) and what kinds of freedoms he could expect. It was nice, despite the rigorous training schedule they still had a few hours to themselves in the evenings, as well as having the weekend mostly free apart from a few drills on the Saturday morning that weren't nearly as taxing. Zack seemed happy to impart all of his wisdom, and the blond was all too happy to receive it as well.

A couple of hours later they parted at his dorm room, where Cloud was able to quietly unpack. His things had been taken up to the bedroom for him and it seemed that his other room mates had yet to arrive. Perhaps they had more questions, or the people in charge of showing them around weren't quite as experienced around the block as Zack was. Either way, it meant that he had a little bit of time to himself.

* * *

><p><em>December 13<em>_th__, __εуλ 0000_

_My new dormroom!_

_I can't believe I finally made it! The journey kind of sucked, but when I got here... wow. It's hard to even write, my hands are shaking so much. There were so many people, and they all looked so different, but then... oh, I still can't believe it!_

_Sephiroth! I actually saw him, in the flesh! I knew they'd bring somebody important in to talk to us, but I never really thought it was going to be him with the war still going on. Don't get me wrong, I hoped, but that's all it was. Hoping._

_When I saw him my palms got all sweaty, I couldn't breathe... I don't know what happened, to be honest. I can't deny that I wouldn't mind it happening again, though. For once the flipping in my stomach didn't just feel like nerves. Well, maybe a little... it was freakin' Sephiroth!_

_Zack was a pretty nice guy. It was strange to have somebody be so friendly with me. I've got to say, I'm not quite used to it yet. Hopefully he doesn't think that's weird... what am I saying? He probably didn't even notice. Seems like the oblivious type._

_Still. It's nice to have at least one friend in this place so far. Maybe things really are looking up. I just have to try not to jinx it._

_I should go to bed now, I think, and stop writing in this thing. If any of the other guys catch me with it they might think I'm strange. There's a lot to be done tomorrow, anyway._

_I can't wait!_

* * *

><p><em><em>**So, my chapters just seem to be growing. That's a good thing! Sephiroth was finally seen as well, so I consider that a plus. **

**I'd like to thank everybody who's alerted, faved or, hell, even read this story so far, because I really appreciate it (I tend to grin with glee whenever I check up on my stats)****, and extra thanks to Tobirion, who gave me an absolutely lovely review. That thing made my morning. :)**


	4. My Meeting

The incessant chiming of a bell was what woke Cloud the next morning. This new, alien sound was about a thousand times more loud than his alarm clock at home, and the shock of it caused him to sit bolt upright in his bed, heart pounding. Looking around blearily was enough to show him that he was not the only person that had had that reaction.

In his small dorm room, two other people were sharing with him. One was a tall, quite muscular looking guy who must be about a year older than him. Despite quick introductions Cloud honestly couldn't recall his name. However, one of the things that he did know of the young man in front of him was that he had well styled, tousled hair the colour of carrots which covered one of his eyes. The boy was from Midgar, that was easy enough to deduce from his accent, which he had heard a little of the night before. The second was a boy closer to his age, although even then he was somewhat dwarfed. That one hadn't talked much, certainly not enough to give out his name, because he had seemed somewhat nervous about the whole affair. It seemed that there was somebody even worse with nerves than him in this place and, even though it was slightly mean spirited, the blond was quite relieved about that.

Strangely enough, even though it was dark outside, Cloud didn't feel all that tired. The rude awakening had been shocking, of course, but he had been about ready to rise anyway. Then it occurred to him: he wasn't going to be able to judge the time of day by the light streaming in through the window any more because Midgar was dark all the time. A shocking revelation for somebody who has never been in such a situation, of course. There were more lights on outside, yes, but not enough to change the lighting in their bedroom any. That was going to be something he had to get used to because he didn't want to end up too late (or too early) to training because of it. The cityscape would also be quite difficult to get used to after living near icy, windswept mountains for so long.

While the young blond had been lost in his reverie his two room mates had begun to dress, and once he realised that clothes were being stripped off and new uniforms were being fastened in their place, he looked slightly embarrassed and quickly crawled out of his bed. Perhaps rather than sitting there, waxing poetic in his head, it would be a good idea to follow suit.

It was a strange idea, getting changed in front of other people who he had known for all of eight hours. Most of those hours had been spent asleep. However, Cloud was aware that it was best to get over this lingering fears quickly, because those nerves would increase a thousand fold once showers were introduced. The set-up that they had been shown the night before didn't leave very much opportunity for modesty, because while they were cadets they were going to be stuck with communal showers. Oh, how he didn't relish the thought. In fact, being reminded of this fact caused him to pause all over again, fingers lingering on the hem of his nightshirt, tickling the waistband of his boxers too. A shake of his head brought the blond back to reality this time, at which point he quickly shed his clothes and exchanged them for the uniform in front of him.

The clothes that he and all the other cadets would be wearing were quite similar to the uniforms of the Shinra Peacekeeping Troops, except for the fact that they had a similar turtle neck to the SOLDIERs for the extra flexibility of the fabric. Theirs were long sleeved though, although Cloud wasn't sure why. Did it have any extra value for them, or was it just an aesthetic change so that they didn't look too much like real SOLDIERs?

The other occupants of the room finished dressing a little while before Cloud did, just as he was lacing up his boots, and they left without a word. It was understandable that everybody was on edge this morning and not very talkative. Truth be told, he wasn't that interested in talking yet anyway. Even though he would like to get along with people, idle chit chat with some people he barely knew was neither one of his strong points, nor a pressing need for him.

Being left alone was a relief, in a way. All through the night he'd been having these strange thoughts. That moment when he had seen Sephiroth up in front of their group the night before, speaking to them in those husky tones, lingered in his mind no matter how much he tried to think of other things. Gaia, it had even been a presence in his dreams. Nothing had been particularly clear except for the occasional murmurings of that voice and a sharp, focused image of those wickedly curved lips forming the words. The words didn't seem to be anything that Cloud could make out, even if he tried, which was downright frustrating. Was it because he hadn't paid attention? No, what was he thinking... it was because it was just a stupid dream. Sephiroth wasn't actually saying anything to him, it was just the occasional word that he'd been able to make out of that speech last night, nothing more. Nothing more at all, as much as he'd like it to be.

With a slightly frustrated sigh the blond laced up his boots. Best to distract himself. With no further dawdling, the new cadet joined all of the others in the dinner hall.

* * *

><p>The cafeteria was a crowded place. If he'd originally thought that being crammed into a room with all of the other SOLDIER hopefuls the night before had been pretty overwhelming, that now looked like a small get together with close friends. Everybody was in this hall, cadets, Third and Second classes, even the troops. The only people missing were the First Classes.<p>

Or so Cloud thought, until...

"Hey, spike! I saved you a space!" A heavy hand not patting, _thumping_ him on the shoulder knocked that assumption out of him entirely. It seemed that Zack had beaten him here and already made decisions for his eating arrangements. To be honest, the blond couldn't really be too miffed with that. It saved him the trouble of trying to awkwardly edge himself onto the end of a table which would most likely be filled up with cadets who had already become fast friends.

"Oh, okay..." was all that he could utter before his superior pushed him down into a seat at one of the tables closest to the food queue. It seemed that they both already had trays waiting for them. Had Zack done that? Perhaps he really wasn't such a bad guy, because it saved him the trouble of waiting for what would most likely be a good ten minutes in that queue. Hopefully the others wouldn't start to think that this was favouritism, though... despite the fact that he appreciated this man's friendliness, he didn't want the others to get that idea in case it caused him any trouble along the road ahead.

Zack was watching him from across the table now, already tucking into his food. Seeing him eat was actually quite worrying for the blond, he was so voracious that it rather caught him off guard. His table manners weren't the finest that he'd seen. "You better start eating, spike. Are you still half asleep or something?" Zack asked, gesturing to his new little blond friend's plate with his fork. Luckily he had swallowed his mouthful before speaking.

"No, it's not that," Cloud replied, glancing around at the other cadets that had joined the queue briefly before his eyes returned to his plate, "and Spike's not my name, either."

"Alright, alright. Cloud." Having to give up his little pet name so soon caused the puppy to make a strained, jokingly mournful face, as if being reprimanded for giving him a nickname broke his poor heart. By now the blond was wise to his antics, even if it was so soon, so he didn't take it too seriously and instead listened when his new friend continued, "Something bothering you?" Apparently this subject wasn't going to be dropped until he got on with eating and acted normally.

After picking up his own knife and fork Cloud carefully cut up his food and began to eat. He took it slowly, not wanting to rush so early in the morning when he had so much physical exercise to look forward to. Lots of hastily digested food jiggling around in his stomach would not be what he needed.

"Everything's fine. How was your night?"

The change in topic easily appeased Zack, who then went on talking excitedly about the minutia of the evening before from the moment he'd left Cloud onwards.

* * *

><p>For most of breakfast Zack went on talking, animated as ever, and while he was trying to listen it did give Cloud a good chance to work out some of the thoughts that were lingering in his mind. There were maybe a few things that he wanted to ask his new friend, however, but he had to wait for an opening since he had set him off chattering away. Once he was given an opening he blurted out the question.<p>

"You're friends with the general, aren't you? How come you're spending breakfast with me?" This was one of the things that hadn't made sense to him. Surely being in the company of Sephiroth would be infinitely better than talking the ear off some nervous cadet? It had to be, didn't it? Being rewarded with more barking laughter had not been what Cloud was expecting.

"Oh spi- sorry, Cloud – he doesn't eat in here. The guy's got an apartment, he commutes to the building, so he can eat at home if he wants. It's not like I spend every waking moment with him, where we go to each others houses and plait each others hair while we talk about feelings." Zack clearly couldn't resist the little joke, although it left the blond feeling a little embarrassed that he'd asked. Of course he wouldn't eat here, he wouldn't live in the barracks either, so he wasn't sure what he had been expecting. Cloud's face had fallen slightly, and apparently Zack had noticed because he added, "I mean, I'll be hanging with him later, though. Y'know, while you're having oodles of fun in your classes."

Speaking of classes, they were due to start very soon. The blond had only just remembered this now thanks to Zack reminding him. "Oh, of course! Classes. I should get going. Thank you for sitting with me." After giving the older man a polite nod Cloud picked up his tray and quickly walked it to the cleaning station, setting it down above all of the others in a tidy manner. His timetable was stowed away in his pocket so he fished it out and had a quick glance down it. First of all he would be training his stamina, so it was time to head to one of the larger training rooms on the floor above. A sigh of relief was breathed when he realised that it was one that he had been shown around the night before. He wouldn't be getting lost just yet.

* * *

><p>Leather clad fingers toyed with a pen on the desk. Emerald, cat like eyes were focused on a screen, but the general's thoughts were on another matter entirely. Earlier on, when he had first arrived at the building, he had engaged in one of his brief chats with Zack. All the other First had been able to talk about was this new friend of his, some small, apparently quite meek young cadet. At first he had been nonplussed, unsure of who on earth Zack was talking about and why he would even feel the need to in the first place. However, once the physical description had started up he had realised who this particular young cadet was.<p>

That blond shock of hair. That was the first thing that Zack had described, and that alone reminded him. It had only been for a brief moment, but the night before he had noticed a young boy with unruly blond spikes, not unlike a chocobo's, staring up at him from the crowd. As much as he was loathe to admit it, for that moment he had actually been caught slightly off guard. The slight stumble in his speech had been quickly covered up but it still disturbed him.

Why in Gaia's name was that?

With a rumbling sigh, Sephiroth leant back in his high backed office chair and gazed around at his surroundings. Being back in his office after his time away in Wutai was comforting. Despite being a tough, skilled swordsman he did prefer the familiarity of his current surroundings to small camps outside of enemy lines. The small, framed paintings of scenery that adorned his walls and the surface of his desk calmed him, and it could be enjoyable and relaxing simply to look at each of them and think of what he recognised, all of the places that he had been to over the years. Some were warm and sunny, others were more subdued, and one or two pictures depicted snowcapped mountains or crumbling, rocky cliffs hanging over the modest buildings.

The blue skies in the warmer pictures were what particularly enticed the silver haired SOLDIER. The glass frames that covered them gave the colour a rich, glossy look, the type that he could stare at all day...

_Blue._

When he realised that his lips had curved into a soft, almost gentle smile Sephiroth snorted and shook his head, dismissing such thoughts from his head. Now was not the time to start getting sentimental and gooey over absolutely nothing. There was little sense in taking advantage of his position to lure some teenager – one that he had never even met, no less! - closer to him. Better to stay away from cadets. Some left, some died, and all were far below him. It would be odd. Difficult. Unnecessary.

"_Why am I even entertaining these thoughts?"_

It was frustrating. He would need to get Zack to stop talking about this boy. That way he could easily forget about what had happened the night before, the first time he had ever faltered during a speech, and quickly get back to his normal routine. Yes, his routine. Having a structured life was good for him, he felt, and kept him from doing anything rash.

Even while he thought about this, he was picking up the corded phone that laid on his desk, balancing it in the crook of his neck. One hand searched out a piece of paper where he had all of the cadet timetables printed out, eyes seeking for the number while his long fingers pressed each button with precision.

"Hello? Yes, I have some papers that need your attention, could you send one of your trainees over to me to collect them?" Before giving the instructor any time to answer him he added, "Let's see, going down the list... Strife should do." What a relief it was for him that Zack had mentioned the name, else he'd have mucked this up already. "Thank you for your time." With that he hung up the phone.

"What did I just do?" Sephiroth muttered to himself. That was too spontaneous. There were documents that he could pass off as important when the boy came down, but he still didn't approve of what he was doing in the slightest. Why was it that he was feeling so elated despite that?

Too late to stop it now. Calling up and telling the instructor to disregard everything that he had just said would seem odd. Everybody in the army, no, the whole Shinra corporation knew that when he said something, he meant it. This matter truly was out of his hands, and knowing that was mixing up a cocktail of dread and excitement within him. Trying to keep cool and nonchalant, Sephiroth stretched out his arms, cracked his knuckles, then continued to type on his computer. Distracting himself would make the moment come that little bit quicker.

* * *

><p>"<em>I must have done something wrong. I don't know how, but I did. It's only my first day... am I going to get kicked out? Guess I really am a lost cause..."<em>

Those were the thoughts that were running through Cloud's head as he made his way to the general's office. Despite the fact that his feet were dragging on the ground he was keeping up a brisk pace. Being late would not help him in the slightest.

Just minutes ago his instructor had told him that Sephiroth wanted to see him. There had been no reason given as to why, so how could he not assume the worst? Something must have happened. Perhaps he had somehow known that he'd not been listening to his speech last night as intently as he should? That wasn't something he could help, there had been reasons, but they were so embarrassing that he would never admit to them.

The journey could never take as long as he hoped it would. No, it was over far too quickly, all too soon the blond was face to face with the silver plaque on the door that alerted him to the fact that this office belonged to Sephiroth. After curling his slightly trembling hand into a loose fist, Cloud gently knocked on the door.

"Enter."

_Gulp. _The thick swallowing sound echoed in his head. His ears were ringing. There was no escape.

Cloud pushed the door open.

If he was going to be the bringer of bad news, Sephiroth seemed very calm about it. The brief glance that the blond gave him before rooting his eyes to the floor was enough to know that he seemed very relaxed in his tall, imposing seat, his hands clasped together on the desk in front of him.

"Do take a seat, Strife."

"Yes sir." After that there was silence. Cloud took the pause to mean that the conversation would not continue until he did as he was told, so he took a few quick, short strides forward before he sat down in the chair. His hands were much less relaxed as they wrung together in his lap, skin sweating beneath the thick brown gloves that he wore. His cheeks were becoming hot as he felt Sephiroth's eyes scrutinising him, looking him over. The blush had come about due to nerves and embarrassment. This was something that always happened when he was brought in for a one on one talk with somebody who held a position of power. Back in Nibelheim it had happened often in school during talks with the Headmaster about why he acted up so much. The reaction was frustrating, but there was nothing he could do.

Luckily, Sephiroth soon saw fit to break the silence. Relief flooded through Cloud as he realised that no longer would he have to become all hot and bothered under the general's stern gaze.

"Don't look so nervous, Strife." That caused the blond to look up, his eyes meeting Sephiroth's face just in time to see a slight curl at the edges of his lips before they once again became neutral. Had that been a smile, he wondered? Whatever it was, it certainly hadn't been anything cruel. His mouth hadn't downturned in a sneer of disgust, so he considered that a plus. "You were sent here because I have some documents to pass along to your instructor."

Oh, what relief! No trouble, in fact, he'd been trusted to handle some documents for the higher ups! At that moment, the blond could have sung. He didn't, of course, because if he did then Sephiroth would probably have second thoughts about trusting him with such a thing. Breaking into song out of nowhere didn't seem the most stable of traits unless he were a character from one of those musicals that his mother had watched from time to time.

"I can do that, sir," he murmured, giving a polite nod. Not only had he been trusted, he'd managed to listen to everything that Sephiroth had said to him so far rather than getting distracted. Of course, the fact that he'd found it hard to meet the general's eyes in such close proximity probably helped that. Still, he'd also managed to keep his gaze from lingering on the straps that covered his chest...

Well. Until he'd consciously thought about them, that was. Now he was finding it a bit more difficult. To stop that, Cloud quickly ran his fingers through his hair, pulling some of the spikes down over his eyes. Another brief glance was enough to tell him that Sephiroth was watching him quizzically, one eyebrow slightly arched.

"Is there a problem, Strife?"

"Ah, no, not at all, sir."

"I'm relieved," he replied with a smirk. For a moment the blond looked surprised, focused on his face again, and he was at once distracted by those lips. _That smirk._ It was hard to suppress a shiver, and his hands almost immediately became about ten times more shaky. What was happening to him? These reactions were ridiculous! The sound of Sephiroth speaking again almost made him jump, "Here are the documents."

"Yes, good, thank you, sir. I'll take those then." Cloud needed to get out of here. It was the only way that he was going to save himself from further embarrassment. The first step of his escape was to almost jump out of his seat, his hands quickly clasping the folder that had been held out to him. Once the papers were relinquished to him he hugged them close to his chest. Hopefully this looked like he was trying to keep a firm grip on them so that they would not be dropped, lost or damaged in any way, but really it was just so that the flapping of paper couldn't give away how much his hands were shaking. "Thank you," he uttered again, not sure what to say now that Sephiroth was simply sitting there, watching him.

When he was met with silence the blond blinked a few times, nodded, then hurried towards the door.

"Strife?" Oh god, his escape had been thwarted...

"Y-yes, sir?" Big, sky blue eyes turned to look at Sephiroth one last time.

"Could you stop by again briefly after you're finished with your training?"

So that was when he was going to be reprimanded. He should have known. _Another gulp._

"Yes, sir."

"Good. You may leave."

As if he needed any invitation.

* * *

><p>"<em>What have I just done?"<em>

Why had he invited Cloud to come back? There was no more to talk about, no papers that needed to be delivered. After seeing those breathtaking sapphire eyes, those little white teeth that worried soft, full pink lips, thin fingers that had so hesitantly taken hold of the folder he'd been holding in his own, leather-clad hands... well, now he'd gone and lost his train of thought again. The point was that after seeing the blond up close he hadn't been able to resist. He had to see him again, perhaps even again after that.

Sephiroth sighed, shaking his head. This was stupid, reckless, pointless, even. Seeing the blond over and over again wouldn't do him any good, would it? It was obvious that he scared the poor kid, he'd been shaking, he hadn't known where to look, at one point in the conversation he'd looked about ready to pass out while he'd stared into space – or at his chest, rather, but he assumed that had been incidental.

But perhaps...

Perhaps he could work on this. For once he didn't want to do what was expected of him. Routine was nice, he'd become very accustomed to it over the years, but it didn't always keep him sharp. Some days he felt like an old man. It was time to change things up.

Ceasing his internal battle, Sephiroth turned his attention back to his computer screen. Better to get this work done quickly so that he could start to plan what he would do when Cloud returned in the evening.

* * *

><p><strong>Whoo, awkwardness all round. I hope this new chapter was okay, guys! Once again it's grown quite a bit from the last.<strong>

**Thanks to everybody who reviewed the last chapter, I majorly appreciate it and I'm glad that you're enjoying the story! I read every single one of these reviews to get me my daily dose of the warm fuzzies. :D**


	5. My Dinner

That door again. That tall, imposing door inlaid with the delicate silver plaque. Most other doors in this place seemed simple, utilitarian, but Sephiroth's was different. Even that gave the blond cause for alarm after the jumpy spell that he had taken on since he had left the office earlier that day. In no way was Cloud helping himself in that regard. Rather than trying to calm his fears, to instead focus on more important things such as trying to meet and connect with his peers as he had told himself he would, he had kept his distance from everybody so that he could retreat into his own thoughts. Even his brief conversation with Zack at their lunch table had been brief and it seemed like his senior officer could tell that there was something on his mind judging by the way that he'd kind of abandoned the conversation after a point.

"_Psh. Who could blame me though, really?"_ was all Cloud could think, _"I mean, why does he want to see me? I must have done something wrong earlier, when I was in his office... did I not show him the right amount of respect? What should I have done?"_

Luckily, the corridor was empty. If it hadn't been then the young cadet would have been getting quite a few odd looks by now, because he had been stood in front of Sephiroth's door for a full minute just staring at it, almost sizing it up.

Because of this, Cloud jumped about a foot in the air when the plaque swung out of view, instead being replaced with a different silver. Silver hair draped over the leather that covered, well, _some_ of the general's chest. If he was honest with himself, which he could not even think to do right now, this view was exponentially better than the door that his eyes had been boring into previously. Hell, the blond's wide, shocked eyes were probably only just a foot away from Sephiroth's chest thanks to how close to the door he had been standing whilst staring at the placard, which... well, it brought up mixed emotions, to say the least. Shock, nerves, fear, interest... _appreciation._

"Come in, Strife. I've been expecting you." The general's voice rumbled above him, causing Cloud to turn his head upwards slightly, just enough that he was able to just about look at his face, not to meet his eyes, but instead to concentrate on that pale, defined jawline, then his throat, watching the way he swallowed. However, he was only able to stand there and appreciate the sight for a few moments before his superior retreated back into his office. Ah, and now he was supposed to follow, wasn't he?

_Gulp._

* * *

><p>Sephiroth returned to seat himself behind his desk once more in the most dignified manner possible, despite the fact that he had almost lost his cool for a moment. When that cadet had been looking up at him in the most demure fashion, glancing up at him through those long blond eyelashes of his, unable to quite meet his eyes as if he were shy... perhaps it had made him <em>slightly <em>hard. Never mind. Such feelings would pass if he did not linger on them, and the desk would hide any such secrets, especially once Cloud sat down across from him. It helped that there was a small stack of papers on the desk in front of him which had been ignored earlier in favour of coming up with a topic that he could discuss with the cadet at this little meeting of theirs. Thanks to his lack of spontaneity in his usual day to day life it had taken Sephiroth a good hour to think of a suitable ruse.

"Do have a seat," he offered, gesturing to the chair at the opposite side of the desk. The blond had been hanging around in the doorway which had started to get a tad awkward and unnecessary in Sephiroth's opinion, so it seemed only fair to invite him in formally. The kid looked so nervous that he almost felt sorry for him. Perhaps it was hypocritical of him to think so because he could be quite uptight in some ways himself, but he felt that it might be a good idea for Cloud to relax a bit. Of course, that was all part of his plan. With a bit of chat he might loosen up, realise that he wasn't about to get discharged from the army for thinking he looked at him wrong.

Once the blond was seated opposite, having uttered a "yes sir" somewhere within his mad dash to fulfil orders, Sephiroth watched him. Only briefly so as not to make him uncomfortable, and he did give a slight twitch of the lips which he hoped might be construed as friendly, but he watched him nonetheless. After a few moments he gently reclined in his chair, hearing a quiet squeak as the leather eased back behind him (he would have to have somebody fix that), and moved his hands together, allowing the fingertips to touch. Having kept his gaze on the young man in front of him, he saw his eyes dart around the room, as if searching for something to focus on. Oh, if only this boy were more comfortable with looking at him. Most times he honestly wouldn't care but would receive the attention anyway, but this time all he wanted was for Cloud to look at him, to be able to swim in the depths of those bright blue eyes on an equal level, rather than only getting a good look during the blond's demure, slightly too hasty glances. That would take time though. Trust, too.

"How are you finding Midgar?"

* * *

><p>The question caught Cloud off guard. For the last few moments of silence he had been preparing himself, mentally steeling himself for bad news, or some kind of dis-satisfactory comment about the way he had arrived at Sephiroth's office that morning at least. That was the way things had been in Nibelheim with anybody except for his mother. Doing things wrong was just a fact of his life, apparently, even when he personally felt the judgement unjust.<p>

"I... well, sir, I've not seen very much of it so far. It's not even been a full day since I got here, and I've not even been out of the building yet. I suppose if I were to decide now, after current experiences... tiring?" The blond sounded unsure, wondering if he had been babbling too much, or whether the slightly more light hearted comment at the end had been irrelevant to what Sephiroth wanted answering. Instead he was greeted with another lip twitch.

"I'm not surprised. It can be something of a shock to the system, I've heard." Sephiroth's answer made it clear that his answer wasn't misconstrued as complaining. Cloud gave a slight sigh of relief, along with a very brief, still somewhat unsure smile. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all? He was able to chat with his idol, and said idol didn't seem to be calling him here to discharge him from the army... that was a step up from what he had imagined, at least.

"Just a bit," he replied, finding the conversation was starting to flow more easily, he wasn't so highly strung now that he had started to find his voice, "It's just something to get used to I guess. Some bits might take longer than others." Like communal showers. That had been embarrassing. An hour earlier he had been discharged from his training for that day and told to hit the showers with everybody else. Now, he wasn't sure how things were in Midgar, but in Nibelheim showers had been a strictly private activity. The school he had gone to was small, and while they had been taught physical education while he was there, the showers had at least been curtained off. There were so few people there that they had only needed a few cubicles and a system where the boys took turns. Because of this, he had been very unaccustomed to it, and it was downright embarrassing. Loads of the others had just stripped off like it was no big deal and lathered themselves up, whereas if he'd had his way he would have been showering in his underwear.

Realising that he had gotten a bit too caught up in his shower thoughts Cloud blinked a few times to clear his head. During that little derail he had noticed Sephiroth's lips move. Had he really just zoned out while the general was speaking? That wasn't good, surely that just wasn't _done._

"Sorry?" he asked, voice quiet again. He almost didn't want to admit that he hadn't heard anything, but since he seemed to be having questions asked he didn't want to try and answer blind, or deaf, as it were. There was no way that wouldn't go wrong.

"I said, have you had a chance to eat yet?" Sephiroth's voice was patient, "You should make sure not to miss out on meals, not with the training you're going through at the moment. The army needs you in top shape."

"Not since lunch, no." That thought only occurred the blond now that it had been mentioned, actually. "Dinner only lasts a couple of hours, doesn't it?" Cloud did have to stick to schedules with mealtimes. There were lots of people being cooked for other than him, so of course he understood the need to have a cut off point where proper food wasn't being served. Shinra would incur massive food costs, along with a lot of it going to waste, if they didn't. If they weren't to eat in the dining hall then they would have to procure a meal elsewhere.

"No, it doesn't last long. I believe you're out of luck if you don't go down there by eight 'o' clock. I'll make sure not to keep you."

* * *

><p>Oh yes, that was the opening that Sephiroth had been waiting for. If he could just keep the cadet here until just after eight then he would have a reason to take him elsewhere for food. Cloud wouldn't have any money yet, he wouldn't have received a pay check, so of course he could take him somewhere or perhaps fix him up a meal as the gentlemanly thing to do, a means of making up for the fact that he'd kept him. When he'd first thought of this plan he had been grinning, rubbing his hands together with glee, but now he made sure to keep control of himself. Looking like some sort of evil mastermind would most likely worry the blond, which he couldn't have after he'd made more progress with getting him to open up.<p>

Confident in his plan's success rate, the general settled in his seat and continued to make idle small talk about Cloud's day. When given a reason he could really be quite a charming man, the man that Shinra willed him to be like during his rare interviews, and lucky for him Strife seemed to be responding quite positively to such a temperament. After just half an hour the boy was chattering away whenever he was asked a question almost as if he'd forgotten who he was with. Sephiroth was surprised to even find himself engaged, he was interested to hear more about the young blond, even if it was just the basics of his day, his journey yesterday and some of the reasons that he had decided to come and join SOLDIER. This was a good start. Perhaps later on he'd be able to ask some more personal questions.

Even in the company of somebody he was really quite interested by Sephiroth wasn't ready to divulge many details about himself, although he did at least give Cloud a basic run-down of what he'd done so far today (minus his incessant planning of how to get closer to him), so after a while he went quiet while the blond talked further and only interjected with a question every so often when it seemed like a lull might be coming up. Instead he used this time to better effect, watching the way his lips moved as he chattered away, the way he almost tried to look up into his own brain whenever he was trying to think of a word that didn't quite come to mind, the way his hands fidgeted in his lap or made little actions while he was talking... it was all the general could do not to give an infatuated sigh. Cloud was too adorable; small, blond, sweet... there weren't many people like that in the army. There was probably a reason for that. A shame really, since Sephiroth was finding a whole new appreciation for such characters.

Maybe he really should just go for this? Usually he would not risk such things with somebody of Cloud's position, but the more he listened to the good natured country boy the more he wanted to see how things might go. He'd spoken to Zack about it earlier, although in very vague terms since he didn't want his colleague to know the exact details, and according to him he deserved to try something like this every once in a while. When he looked at it that way... well, Sephiroth knew he didn't give himself a whole lot of time for play. It was worth a try, wasn't it?

It was just getting to eight 'o' clock now. There was probably only a minute left, although if Cloud noticed now it would still be too late for him to go and get anything. The blond was just finishing up describing Nibelheim when Sephiroth decided it was time for the next stage. After briefly checking the digital clock that sat beside his computer on the desk, he frowned and held up a hand to interrupt the happily burbling cadet.

"Strife, I really must apologise. It seems I may have kept you too late." He sounded perfectly apologetic, because he really would be if he didn't already have a plan in place to assure that Cloud would get his meal. "Dinner service is finishing up just about now, I lost track of the time... I really am dreadfully sorry." It was ridiculous, he never lost track of anything, but the blond would probably believe him, and think that he had learned a slight personal weakness of his in the meantime which might help him to feel they were a little bit closer.

"But..." the blond immediately looked worried, nibbling on that soft, full bottom lip of his, eyes darting from side to side as if he were searching for some other solution now that he was most likely getting quite hungry. "What am I going to do now? If the food hall's closed, and I don't have any money on me... I don't think I'm supposed to leave unattended yet anyway, not for the first week." It was a silly rule, but one they kept up so that they didn't end up losing any cadets in the city before they'd become used to the place.

"Hm, I wish I could help you, since I am the one responsible..." Sephiroth trailed off, lips curling into a smile as if he'd just thought of a plan, then asked, "Why don't you come with me, cadet? I have living quarters not too far from here, I could always fix you up a meal there. I prefer to cater for myself, you see. Of course, if you're not comfortable with that then I could find somebody to escort you elsewhere with a bit of gil." This was it. The ball was in Cloud's court. The general leant forward just slightly, resting his arms on the table, clasping his hands in front of him while he watched the blond for an answer. Hopefully it would be one that he wanted.

* * *

><p>Sephiroth was going to fix him up dinner? What did that mean? Was he to go there, actually see where the general lived, his personal space, or was he to wait here while something was fetched? Cloud was honestly bamboozled and could only sit there, seeming rather stunned by the whole proposition. Surely it shouldn't be effecting him this much, it was only an offer for some food, but... well, it was from <em>Sephiroth,<em> of all people. Not many people could say that Sephiroth cooked them dinner on the first day they'd met.

However, the blond's stomach was close to sealing the deal for him. The more he waited the hungrier he was getting. Earlier he'd been doing a lot of exercise and, while lunch had been filling, that was about seven hours ago now. Sephiroth had said it wasn't far...

"I, well... alright then, sir. If that's not too much trouble." How bad could it be? They'd been having quite a nice time, or at least he knew that he himself had been, and perhaps they could continue if he went away with Sephiroth. Nobody had just sat and listened to him talk about nothing for that long before apart from his mother. Surely that had to count for something? This was the first time since he'd been here that he had properly reached out and talked to somebody properly, and his mother had told him to make some friends while he was here... did Sephiroth count? Maybe he could.

Much to his surprise, Sephiroth seemed perfectly okay with that arrangement. "Of course, Cloud. Come with me." Treating it like the most natural thing in the world, the general rose from his seat, walking past him towards the door.

"_He used my first name!"_ The blond squealed, internally of course so that the dinner invitation was not promptly reconsidered, but after Sephiroth moved away from him Cloud did sit there for a few moments with the biggest grin on his face. He just couldn't help it. Time alone with the general... he knew he shouldn't be as happy about this as he was, but... well, screw that! This was his idol, a man he looked up to and who, after talking with him for a while, seemed like a genuinely nice guy as well. A man of few words, perhaps, but he'd listened to him, treated him like an equal despite the fact that they really should be anything but.

"Are you coming?" The voice broke the blond out of his blissful reverie.

"Yes, sir! I'll be right there." Almost knocking the chair backwards in his haste, Cloud got up. After that he respectfully pushed the chair close to the desk again and followed after Sephiroth, seeming to bounce across the floor in a few quick steps. He could tell that Sephiroth had seen the last little bound thanks to the fact that he had his head tilted towards him, eyebrows raised, but apart from a little, slightly embarrassed blush that coloured his cheeks Cloud couldn't even bring himself to care.

* * *

><p>"Here we are," Sephiroth murmured as he unlocked his door, pressing a combination into the keypad next to it. He had both that and a traditional key to keep his home safe, as neither he nor the company he worked for wanted any uninvited guests in his living space. Soon enough the door swung open, and as it did the general awkwardly waved his hand in front of the door as if unveiling something magical. At the moment he was still trying to loosen up, which didn't exactly come naturally. At least his little cadet didn't seem to be too perturbed.<p>

He allowed Cloud to go in first. It seemed the polite thing to do, and this way he was able to see the blond's reaction as he took his first tentative steps into his living space. A moment later Sephiroth walked in himself and quietly closed the door, not wanting to disturb the young man who was treating his home as if it were some kind of museum or art gallery, looking, but not daring to touch.

Perhaps his home did seem kind of like an art gallery. Sephiroth kept a clean, minimalistic space, all painted in quite neutral tones. His sofas, like his chair in his office, were made of leather, and were separated by a glass coffee table. A television was hung on the wall; while he did not use it often, it was useful for keeping up with the news at Shinra when he was off duty. Most of the other furniture in his front room were art pieces, apart from a tall bookcase neatly lined with the reading material that he was more interested in. Sephiroth didn't care for fanciful stories, nor action packed epics. It all sounded too much like Shinra propaganda to him, and so he stuck to history, art, culture. Well, apart from that LOVELESS drivel that Genesis sometimes tried to push upon him.

"Come with me into the kitchen, soldier. I'll fix us both up something to eat." Not pausing to linger too much on the blond's reactions to his home Sephiroth strode purposefully through the door and into his kitchen, his luxurious silver hair glinting under the bright lights that were inlaid in the ceiling. Once Cloud was settled at the table he would turn those down a bit, there was no sense in being blinded and, well... it might create a mood of some sort. That was what he hoped anyway, no matter how silly it sounded when he thought it to himself. But then, what kind of mood did he desire? What was he expecting to get out of all of this, what did he want at the end of the evening? That might be the part that he had neglected to think through... or at least hadn't quite admitted to himself because he was unsure of whether he'd get it. He had stopped saying Cloud's first name as well, which was maybe the one sign that might give away that he was a little nervous. Hopefully that wouldn't be too noticeable.

While Sephiroth was in the process of retrieving a meal from his fridge, he turned to see Cloud walking through the doorway, still seeming a little dazed. Was it the bright lights, or was he really still so shocked at seeing his home? The general shook his head. Maybe he shouldn't think it so silly. After all, there weren't very many people he invited back into his own personal space, so it made sense for the cadet to be dazzled.

"Do sit down," he purred, "I'll turn the lights down a bit, I think. I left early this morning while it was still dark and must have neglected to turn them off as I walked through the door." A quick twiddle of the dial beside the door knocked the lighting down to a more reasonable level, and perhaps cast a more attractive shadow over his kitchen. When he glanced back at the blond Sephiroth was able to see the slight shadows that were now cast across his face, and had to take a quick second to marvel at him. Cloud looked fantastic in the low light, any light for that matter. However, soon he was all business once again. "I have stew in the fridge that should serve. It was quite filling last night." After the rations that he had been eating out in Wutai his own meals were heavenly, although he scarcely got the time to cook for himself so he had to do it in bulk so that he was able to evade the mess hall at headquarters. While he had the option to have his own personal cook that seemed too much like having a servant for comfort.

Once the blond seemed to be settled Sephiroth continued to get the food ready, heating his little oven to the correct temperature. Despite, or perhaps because of its size, it was warmed to an acceptable level quite quickly, at which point the general popped their meal inside of it. After that he leant against the counter quietly, merely content to watch the cadet for the time being. He still seemed to be drinking in every inch of the kitchen as if memorising it, so he wasn't about to disturb him.

* * *

><p>The sound of Sephiroth retrieving the food from the oven was what finally snapped Cloud out of his trance, and as he heard the fairly quiet clattering sounds he did jump a bit, although quickly disguised it as a stretch so as not to embarrass himself. "It's done, is it?" he asked, forgetting his manners in front of the general thanks to the fact that he still wasn't quite with it. This all felt like some sort of dream, actually being inside his house like this, seeing all of his things, as well as Sephiroth himself in his natural environment.<p>

"Yes, Strife. You'll get your food soon."

"Good." The blond sighed very slightly, trying to hide his disappointment at the way Sephiroth was now addressing him. Of course he wasn't in any position to complain, it was perfectly normal for him to speak like that, but... well, he had called him Cloud earlier. His name, it was a bit more personal. He liked that. Best not to say anything though, it might seem rude and over familiar to push the issue and he wouldn't have the nerve to do it anyway. Not now.

A bowl was soon set down in front of Cloud. The scent of the hot meal beneath him trailed up to his nostrils, causing him to sniff and exhale a contented breath. The food smelled fantastic, already making his stomach rumble, so without really waiting the blond picked up his spoon and began to eat. A few moments later he noticed that Sephiroth had sat down in front of him with his own meal. Had he been supposed to wait? Unsure of whether this was okay, the younger male slowly lowered his spoon back down to the bowl, trying to chew as surreptitiously as possible in the hopes that it might not be noticed.

"No, please continue. I wasn't expecting you to wait for me." Sephiroth's lips curled into that now familiar half-smile, and when Cloud saw that he let himself give a little grin in return, after he had finished his mouthful of course. He had been given permission to tuck into his meal with no further delay, so he did that with gusto. It had been a damn long time since he'd eaten and with the amount of training he'd done that day his stomach found that almost criminal. Due to that he wasn't eating as cleanly as he would usually, forgoing the opportunity to wipe his mouth with a napkin after every few mouthfuls. For once he didn't care enough to be clean.

Luckily once the blond had eaten about half of his bowlful of soup he found his voice again. "So, I talked a lot earlier," he murmured, finally finding the time to wipe his mouth, "And I realised that you didn't say so much. Perhaps you could tell me more about your day? That is, as long as I'm not prying, sir..."

For a moment Sephiroth regarded him, and Cloud couldn't quite tell what emotion laid behind his eyes. They glinted slightly as he looked into them, and it was at that moment that the blond found himself quite lost in them. It was impossible not to be. They were intriguing, the pupils not quite like anybody else's, or certainly unlike those of anybody else he'd met. They were the most beautiful green, and in the half light they occasionally glittered, but not in the same way that they had just now.

"There was a lot of paperwork, Strife. I've just come back from the war, so there was a lot that I had missed out on while I was away. In truth I'm still not quite up to date yet, even though I thought I would be. There were a few complications."

"Complications?" Cloud hoped that it wasn't his fault. Of course it wouldn't be, he was thinking too highly of himself to think that he would have had any impact at all, but he still couldn't help but think it. Sephiroth had spent a lot of time with him today, and had listened to him talk for ages, which surely must have cut into his work time. Still, even if it was somehow his fault, the general didn't seem all that annoyed with him. Huh.

"Let's just say I wasn't as focused on my work as I could have been. I wasn't quite at a hundred percent."

"You're sick?"

Sephiroth actually chuckled at that, shaking his head and leaning forward a little in his chair, closer to him. "No," he purred, "Not sick. I don't really get sick."

"Wow, you don't? That's gotta be useful, sir." It certainly sounded it. Cloud would love to never get sick, it was horrible, especially when he'd been back in the mountains where the air was a little thinner than more ground based settlements.

"You don't need to call me sir."

The blond blinked. What was he supposed to call him, then? Besides, Sephiroth was certainly one to talk.

"Well you don't need to call me Strife either. I liked it when you called me Cloud earlier... Sephiroth." The words had slipped out before Cloud had had time to think them through. He had leant forward a little on the table, he'd still been lost in Sephiroth's eyes, the way they were so intently focused on his own. The stew had been finished off, the general's too by the looks of things, so luckily he didn't end up coating his elbow in the stuff or knocking it onto the floor. There was nothing to send him crashing back to reality.

While Cloud had been leaning forwards, so had Sephiroth. They were getting closer together, gazing into each other's eyes, their voices had been reduced to mere soft murmurs, and before they knew it... they couldn't lean any further. The two were no more than an inch apart, both leaning in close, Sephiroth's nose almost brushing against the blond's smaller one. Neither of them could deny it any longer.

Gently, their lips met.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm so sorry about the wait you guys! I've had a whole lot to do and haven't really been inspired to write this until now, but I found the time and got it done. I hope you like it! Also I hope the chapters will stop growing every time soon because it's a tad ridiculous.<strong>

**Thank you so much to everybody who reviewed the story since I last wrote anything, as well as putting it on alert, favouriting it, etc. I really appreciate it!**


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